Tuesday, July 31, 2007

So

So. After 2 days of fighting with my grandfather non stop (we even had to call 911, and he refused to go with the paramedics), I finally managed to get him to the hospital on Sunday. They admitted him very late on Sunday night and he is expected to be there until at least Thursday.

Everything is just such a mess. We have an extremely dysfunctional family and caring for him has always fallen to Dave and I. The time is rapidly approaching when he is no longer able to live independently and for a million reasons that I can't go into on the internet, I am not able to care for him full time.

And just like he wouldn't consent to going to the hospital, he will not consent to any sort of home health care.

And that is just the tip of this very bad iceberg I am afraid.

(Insert tears and many agonizing days here.)

So. There we are.

At this point it also seems like there is no way I can make the trip to the 127 sale. Even if we could make it we would have to leave my mother here in charge of grandpa and that would mean trying to make the trip with Jack with us. I've not had a night away from Jack since May 2006. That is a damn long time and I am just so overwhelmed with everything right now. I am not sure I can stand the disappointment of not being able to go or having to go with Jack on top of everything else. Proverbial straws and all that.

So.

Jack was really proud of his discovery that he can make a circle with his trains. He has also informed me this week that "I'm not free, I'm twenty dollars." Yesterday when I said "Somebody's getting tired," he replied "nooooooooooooooo somebody is not."

I think we will go listen to Bon Jovi. He knows a lot of the words to "Lost Highway" already, and *that* makes me smile.

33 comments:

  1. Good luck. It sounds like you need a chance to step back and take a deep breath. I hope things start looking up soon - caring for an older parent/grandparent can be so stressful and heartbreaking.

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  2. leslie11:15 AM

    oh my! my grandpa is 98 and still living alone. i am so lucky my folks and brother (my brother is a nurse and lives next door) do most of his care, i do feel very guilty about being too busy to do much. he also refuses health care and almost started a fire last week (VERY scary!) luckily he is ok and finally willing to stay downstairs (we put in a bed in the tv room for him). anyways, he is happy to be home all day with a daily visit from one of us and a store trip once a week with a friend. we just hope it doesnt get any more dramatic, last weeks smoke out really freaked us out. raising a little one (my lizzie is a handful so i know!) and caring for a grandpa must be overwhelming, you are doing an awesome job and hang in there!!! xoxoxoxoxo

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  3. ((((((HUGS!!)))))))

    What a stressful time you are having. Would you mind sending me your address via my email address?

    Just cause.

    dana

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  4. Oh dear - I hope things work out and you can stop and take a moment for yourself.

    I'll be thinking of you...

    : ] Jenn

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  5. Oh, no. I'm sorry about all of it. You obviously care deeply for your grandpa. Please don't feel guilty about being frustrated right now. I hope something works out so you can have that time away.

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  6. Oh honey - am I sorry... Sounds like a very wrenching and emotional time.

    Don't forget to take care of yourself, ok?

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  7. I'm sorry to hear about your Grandfather. It sure does sound like you have a ton on your plate at the moment. Your frustration is understandable.

    Jon Bon Jovi can fix anything though...enjoy!!! :)

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  8. Oh, Sarah. I'm so sorry about everything. About Grandpa. The 127. Not getting a little break from Jack.

    I hope everything turns around and gets better. I wish I was closer to help.

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  9. chin up and big hugs, sarah!

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  10. You certainly have a lot on your plate right now... Make sure you take care of the caretaker! I can speak from very recent experience, and say I know what you mean about traveling with a little guy, and needing a break.

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  11. stefani1:54 PM

    Oh Sarah! I'm so sorry. Remember a while back, when you said, regarding one of my posts, "been there. hate it there"? Ditto. Hope that things go better with your grandpa and that very soon you get a much deserved break!

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  12. So sorry! I watched my grandmother take care of her mother when I was a kid - this is such a hard thing. Hang in there!

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  13. I'll be thinking of you and hoping that your Grandfather eases up with his stubbornness as it comes to his health and well being. It's not easy when all you are trying to do is the right thing and they refuse to give in (mostly it's their own fear of loosing control of their life).

    I'm sure you will get a break soon, just hang in there. Isn't there another huge many state long yard sale in October? My friend Diana had a stand there last year and did very well with it, I was thinking about going if the galaxies line up the way I want them to.

    hugs to you,

    lucy

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  14. Sarah, I'm so sorry you're going through all this at once. Make sure to take care of yourself, too.

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  15. Sending hugs your way....

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  16. So sorry about your grandfather. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now...I hope you somehow find a way to get your well-deserved break.

    Jack is adorable as ever...and I love that white kitty in the background. We have two white cats and they are the best!!

    Linda

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  17. Oh Sara. I know how you feel. I have four brothers but I am my mom's sole caretaker. Also I have an elderly aunt whose son lives in Michigan and left his mom with a druggee grandson to watch over him so guess who feels responsible for her? Some days I just want to scream! Hugs to you!!

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  18. Oh and...it would be wonderful to take care of Jack. Get me into "grandma shape". LOL

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  19. I'm so sorry things aren't fab w/you right now! You'll be in my thoughts. I know what it's like to need some "you" time- hope it all works out!!!

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  20. (((HUGS)))

    Take care of yourself!

    And oh from the mouths of babes...yesterday my DS told me, "Mommy, I am not little. I am FIVE!". :)

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  21. :( I will definitely keep you in my prayers.

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  22. Oh sweetie! So sorry to hear about this... I know you were looking forward to the sale and time away. I will definitely be thinking about you, and hope that things start looking up a bit!

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  23. Not close enough to put my arms around you and give you hug, but know that you are in my thoughts. I understand about the dysfunctional family.

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  24. Sending you virtual hugs. Caring for my Grandparents is something that has been weighing on my mind lately as well. I'm sending you positive, healing and soothing thoughts.

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  25. Sending you big hugs!! I'm so sorry your grandpa is not well, and your trip is not looking good :( Hopefully things will look better soon!


    Dana
    d07@goldingers.com

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  26. sending lots of love and hugs and prayers our way sarah!! i really hope things work out and your stress level goes down. if you don't get to go to the 127 sale can i suggest cancun? i think that's fair!

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  27. so hard... when they are hanging on to that independence no matter what. We (my family) had this with my Grandmother the last few years. It is EXHAUSTING. Hang in there :) sorry about your trip and hoping it might still be able to happen.

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  28. Sorry to hear about your grandfather, and the stress that is causing you.

    In the picture of Jack with his train, I was cracking up at the cat watching him play.

    Take Care!

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  29. I'm sending positive thoughts your way!

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  30. Bummer. We all have dysfunctional families, don't we? Well, there's always next year. And maybe the garage sale fairy will bless you with some good deals closer to home.

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  31. hope things get better for you all soon. I so completely know that feeling of being overwhelmed. My circumstances are different, of course, but I feel for you!

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  32. thank you for helping me with my sewing!! i was looking at your pics and my son has those trains, i think the red ones have been recalled for lead paint. you might want to look into it. your grandpa (your whole family) is lucky to have you, whether he knows that or not.
    b :)

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