I don't know what it is about our life for the past 8 months or so, but I am becoming increasingly frustrated. In short, I have zero time. Zero. Zippo. Zilch. I keep hoping it's Jack's age or some kind of phase that will pass, but that doesn't seem to be the case.
I spend every single moment of every single day trying to keep him entertained, or cleaning up messes, or doing laundry, or running errands, or doing battle with him over behavior, or cleaning up after my grandfather, or answering a million totally unnecessary phone calls from my mother, cooking 9 different meals for a kid who never eats, doing the grocery shopping, etc etc etc.
And I am so over it all.
The more there is to do, the less time there is to do anything I enjoy. And then I get even madder about not having any time to do anything for myself. And then I do less around here, so there is even more to do and then I have even less time than I started with.
Truly a vicious circle.
I used to have help cleaning the house, but it was really unreliable and frustrating and Dave sort of convinced me (I was already halfway there on my own) it wasn't necessary anymore now that Jack was over 3. Oh sure, Jack can help clean up around here and he goes to school 2 days a week and Dave can help and blah blah blah.
But truthfully Jack is still the same kid he was at 7 months old, and it is no easier to get anything done with him here. And there seem to be so few hours in the day that Dave is even here and he already has to keep up with the never ending lawn care and so on.
Everything just seems so damn busy all the time. And still there is mildew in the toilet, there 6 loads of laundry to be put away, the grass needs mowing, I need a haircut, Jack needs to have a recent photo taken, I still haven't ordered my Mother's day present much less bought Dave anything for Father's Day that was yesterday, the floors need to be vacuumed, I am running out of clean underwear, I have not managed to get my eyes checked in like 3 years and I need new glasses, I need to get the tablecloths in the mail, Jack has a giant pile of books he wants to read, he needs lunch, and on and on.
So tell me, please, how do you get it all done without crazy? How do you unbusy yourself so that you can actually have a minute to breathe?
I miss my sewing machine and my house is a disaster area.
*And please don't tell me to get a babysitter! We don't really have family to rely on, and I have yet to find a babysitter that I feel comfortable with.