Thursday, December 11, 2008

Once upon a time


Once upon a time, I managed to find this really awesome box of war era ornaments. A nearly complete set, in their original box, with notes about war bonds on them. I loved those ornaments so much. I kept them up high on the counter tops, out of the reach of children and cats.
And then one day I had the NERVE to go to the basement to do some laundry.

And my incredibly impulsive child broke the whole thing. No, not with a ball, or even a stick. He just HAD to have the Christmas cards and right now. RIGHT NOW MOMMY RIGHT NOW RIGHT NOW RIGHT NOW.
And then I cried until I nearly threw up.

And not because he broke something hard to replace (which he did), but because with Jack I am ALWAYS dancing as fast as I can and no matter what I try to do with him or to him or for him I cannot.make.him.calm.down.

The end.

P.S. It's been about 3 hours, and I am totally over it. The shock of it was really upsetting though. Some days I do much better at dealing with the constant "vibrations" and some days I suck at it. (I tend to think of Jack as "vibrating" when he is wound up. He cannot be still. At all. He loses all control of what little rationality a 4 year old has.)

31 comments:

  1. Is he about 3, by any chance? There is NO WAY you can move fast enough to please him. Patience takes practice. I'm on my third 3-yr-old. When she wants something NOW, I try and make her wait just a little while (without whining preferable) before I give it to her. Depending on circumstances, I might make her wait a little longer. I'm not mean about it but I let her know I have to finish what I'm doing. Patience takes practice.

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  2. Ugh, I am so sorry. It is SO hard to navigate parenthood.

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  3. Oh no Sarah :( I have a 5 year old who has patience issues sometimes too - it's a tricky one to navigate.

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  4. I am a follower of your blog because I got addicted to your button tree and I have been here ever since. :)

    I have a 3-year-old who has 'No way, I can do it myself' syndrome. He managed to crush 6 of my beloved grandmother's vintage glass ornaments in one fell swoop of "It's not too heavy, Mommy! I got it... crash... uh-oh"

    I cried. And cried. He cried. My husband thought we were both nuts.

    To make a very long comment somewhat shorter: I know exactly how you feel and I am so very sorry.

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  5. Hugs...You know I can relate.

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  6. Oh dear, I think we have all been there. It's part of parent hood. My darlings have broken almost anything that I hold dear. Whatever is left of my treasures have all been locked up, and I do mean locked with a key.

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  7. I think it must be 'one of those days' or 'that time of the year' or something! I don't have any kids, but I KNOW you aren't alone!! I stopped at a little Church thrift in never-never land this morning. It was just me, the 'Blue-haired Church Lady' running the register and another girl with a child of about 2yrs. The child SCREAMED and SOBBED the entire time the girl was there - she was absolutely mortified. We kept telling her it was 'okay', but she did a quick 'once through' and left!
    My heart goes out to you! I must say though, all of these stories/encounters make me appreciate my life 'as is' a little bit more!

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  8. i can hear your frustration, sarah. i've found my boy to be much more demanding than my girls were at this age. it's tough, this dance.

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  9. I know you've tried just about everything and think it hasn't worked. But that's the thing. A lot of times these things are on a delayed response. You think you're not getting through, but you are. Jack is as smart as they come. He'll get it.
    I ended up just physically wearing out my daughter when she was that age. Waking her up early and running her around all day. When she was tired she was better behaved.

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  10. I'm familiar with this too and my daughter's six. I still have the nail file scratches in my laptop. That was a present when I wasn't getting off the phone fast enough. **sigh** But it gets better (hopefully).

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  11. SO SAD!!!!!!!!!!! I am in constant fear that Graham is going to kill all of the vintage ornaments on my trees. I never worried about it when the girls are little. Boys are just a bit rougher I think! SHEESH

    Im not sure if you read my sad post about the pink milk glass? But I had received a beautiful piece of pink milk glass from a swap and Graham managed to break it in the first 48hours of having it! KIDS!

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  12. Stumbled upon your blog from a friend's blog and thought I'd check you out :) So sorry about your ornaments!! And I know JUST how you feel. Our son just turned four yesterday and hearing you describe your son, was like describing mine. He is a BUNDLE of energy to say the least. I'm a pretty laid back, fairly calm person and dealing with him on a daily basis is both physically and mentally exhausting....he makes me dizzy! LOL So, I feel ya!!

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  13. Oh no! So pretty! I have patience issues with my wee ones too, and the latest thing to break was an old cat ornament that Hubby and I bought together 10 years ago.

    I have shelves in the basement full of vintage McCoys, Pyrexes, Fire Kings and other breakable items and I live in constant fear that I'll find them in shattered bits one day. Especially since I caught Oldest climbing the shelves to retrieve forbidden Barbies I put up. Ack!! No more toys up there!

    I'm glad you are over it now, as those things are replaceable (even though it's sorta, kinda, realllllly hard to replace) and your child is much more precious. (I've been there, I really really have!)

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  14. Oh Sarah, I'm sooo sorry. I feel your pain. Really, I do. I'm on my second boy and while Jack seems to have a bit more energy than my oldest, I think my little guy could give him a run for his money. I do have to tell you, I read your post to my husband and he just giggled a little. He finds it amusing when my girly friends use obscentites on our girly girl blogs! (((HUGS)))

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  15. Oh this made me sick Sarah! Then I remembered....my husbands and my moto for YEARS was "GOSH! We can't have anything!" (because it was always broken) actually...our words were more four letter versions of that but you get the idea!

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  16. Just a question of clairifcation - did he break them because he was mad at you or because he was tryng to get the christmas cards himself? i am guessing the latter, not that the accidental part of it makes it any better! i would have cried, too. a lot.
    (and then i would have googled something like "lack of patience normal in preschooler?" - i find myself looking up those sort of things all the time, which isn't really helpful either.)

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  17. I am so, so sorry. You are a good and patient mom, and that you're already over it is just amazing. Hang onto that box and note. Those ornaments show up now and again, and the box will fill up again, I'm sure of it. (I'm having e-mail troubles but want to get back to you on other matters...) xo Barbara

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  18. Oh, Sarah. That photo just about made me cry! I know that things are just that--"things"--but honestly that doesn't make it any less heartbreaking when it feels like you just can't ever have anything nice without it being destroyed in some fashion. I've been there, I know. I'm so, so sorry. Big hugs, and take care.

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  19. Bless his heart. He didn't mean to. But I feel your pain. My kids did some foolish things to break a few precious items, too. And yes, we do survive.

    (Those *were* awesome ornaments.)

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  20. Oh, man - that's a tough one. I feel so bad for you both! I know how special treasures are - but then again, a child is really the true treasure, after all.

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  21. You are not alone! Half of my favorite decorations have been shattered this year. The tree has been pulled over once and I have yelled at my kids numerous times when I shouldn't have. Merry Christmas huh. Being a mom is SO hard sometimes. My husband often asks "Where were you when ____ did _____?" (Fill in the blank because daily one of my kids does something that I 'should have see.')
    You can't be there ALL the time! Kids this age are just crazy. I hope they grow out of it a bit.

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  22. Hang in there. We had one similar and it does get better.

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  23. Oh boy... :(

    I hope you feel completely better soon. Just keep forging ahead.

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  24. Oh man, Sarah. I am so sorry. For the ornaments, the frustration, and the grief.
    I am thinking of you!

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  25. This might mean you've officially become a mother. Or something like that. It's a rite of passage. My three-year-old broke my TREASURED grandmother's cookie jar. That was 20 years ago and I STILL miss that cookie jar. I don't even have a picture of it -- I know it's not consolation, but at least you can reminisce with your picture ;-).

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  26. Anonymous8:26 AM

    I bet seeing you cry made him feel terrible. Sorry for your loss. It could have been worse. At least no one got hurt (other than feelings)considering they were glass and all. Hang in there, this too shall pass. It's hard to remember but your son is more important than any object.

    *Mom of 7

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  27. Oh honey!!!!!
    So sorry!
    I just had a similar "lose my cool" moment when my 5 yr old WROTE on the door in Sharpie!
    I know,how did she get her little delinquent hands on a Sharpie?
    Must have been something I did!

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  28. It is SO true. Sometimes you just have to cry it out. Sometimes it is just too much. And then suddenly almost as fast as the tears came, it is all OK again. Life with a Vibrations or Earthquakes (as I have at my house) can be like that. Totally.

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  29. I think many of us, as mothers, can relate to the doing better on some days than others with dealing with those 'vibrations'.

    What.a.bummer. I can imagine, initially, you were sick to your stomach. I would be.

    My newest three year old can throw THE most ferocious temper tantrums. No patience at all and when he wants something, he wants it now.

    Tami (first comment) has some wise words about making them wait just a bit. By my second, I started doing this and after much (much, much) practice, my kids are beginning to learn the art of patience. Even if you can get them what they need right away, it helps to practice and make them wait just a bit.

    My youngest just hasn't quite learned this yet, as he'll throw awful tantrums when I make him wait but I believe it's because as our 'baby' he has 'I think I can have anything I want when I want it syndrome'. ;)

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  30. Oh how sad. You know the ornaments were lovely and that is sad. You can't change it. And it is ok to let kids see we are people too. I know how you feel. I've been in that situation and there is really nothing you can do to "fix" it and the tears just come. Sometimes being a mom is the hardest thing - even when they are older. They wreck the car and spend too much money and all those big people things. You'll feel just the same when those things happen. Not that motherhood sucks. But sometimes it is the most difficult thing in the world. I never knew it would be like this some days. But then there are the days that sparkle too.

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  31. I am so sorry. Some things hurt no matter how "illogical" or whatever those feelings are. I've snapped at my boys over material things several times, like the time Bubba taped over his birth video when he was like five or so. Like he knew what he did! He was just pushing buttons and I went to the bathroom. But that didn't make it easier for me to respond to...I was devastated. But I apologized to him. I don't always respond the right way, nor does he always make the right choices... but we discuss the whole situation when we are both feeling better and less emotional. Of course my impulsive child does stuff like this:
    http://miscthing.blogspot.com/2008/10/scariest-halloween-moment.html and http://miscthing.blogspot.com/2008/11/little-louder.html

    but guess what, impulsivity and all, he's a pretty wonderful dude (they both are):
    http://miscthing.blogspot.com/2008/12/its-most-wonderful-time-of-year-bells.html

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