This year with Jack has been incredibly hard.
But somehow, somewhere, in the midst of all the tears and drama, I feel like I found my mothering footing. That "instinctual, no bullshit, take it or leave it, one way or another we are going to get out of this mess" ground. (At least for now, ask me again in 3 years.)
And that part was good.
It probably sounds weird, but in some ways this year really made me "Jack's mother." I mean it's easy to be a mother when they are cute and cuddly and squishy and just need diapers and milk. But when the shit really hits the fan (and it did - many, many more times than we talked about here this year), you have to dig deep, ya know?
I dug deeper than I thought I could and here I am on the other side. Calmer even. Letting go and going with the flow as much as I can.
So, here's to a year where my kid became a kid, and not my "baby" anymore:
January, we learned how to use scissors
February, we played in the snow
March, we played Easter bunny
April, we visited with grandma and grandpa Phoenix
May, we flew a kite for the first time
June, we rode the big train in Kansas
July, we hit the pinnacle of insanity, had a big blow out with the dog lady, and found that the only magic we needed was hiding in cousin Liam
August, we played with nasty bugs
September, we went golfing for the first time
October, we always have fun at the pumpkin farm
November, we had our very own world's cutest kid Christmas photo shoot
And today, December 30, it was 70 degrees and we went to the zoo with our "friends."
And it was the best day ever.
(We've also started reading and writing, coloring in the lines, sharing, making friends all the time, talking to strangers, riding a bike, bowling, playing tee-ball, learning manners, using the potty, dressing yourself, going to the movies, and much, much more.)