I have always been an anxious person. I remember that when I was in elementary school an event like a field trip was enough to give me an upset stomach for a week.
I hate the unknown.
I love structure and routine and sameness.
For example, I am still using the same digital camera I have been using for going on 10 years now, a 2 megapixel camera, I hate the idea of having to get a new television remote, I wear the same shoes every.single.day.
This whole year for me? Not at all routine or comforting or "same".
And it's all starting to really get to me.
The anxiety keeps me up at night. My old standby remedies are no longer working. Between all the stress and pressure and anxiety and sleeplessness I am starting to feel like I might blow my top at any given moment.
I would take a prescription drug, really I would (and have before), but I am still hoping for another baby.
Yesterday everything started to boil over.
Finally some portions of grandpa's estate are settled and that means I am close to that part being over.
Except I am still anxious as all get out.
Because it means moving for us.
Leaving the comforts of our little house here.
Embarking on a giant renovation project.
Moving into my grandparent's house.
This stuff is so hard for me. And I still feel pretty raw emotionally about the loss of my grandfather.
It's really hard on Jack too, who is so very much me like it seems.
I think of you all as friends. Perhaps you have some words of wisdom? A useful way to help relieve racing heart anxiety? Ways to help kids deal with all of their worries about moving house?
With any luck our lives will be settled down again after Christmastime, but that seems pretty far away, doesn't it?
Now I must click publish before I lose the nerve...
(The quilt is another I recently picked up. It's baby/kid sized and a rather simple pattern, but perhaps if you look closely at the enlarged photos you can see that she has hand quilted baby chicks into the white squares. They are sideways in the photos. I happen to think it makes this quilt *extra* special.)