Saturday, January 09, 2010

Flea markets in Heaven

On Thursday morning there was a shooting rampage at ABB here in St Louis. My long term boyfriend's father was one of those gunned down in the parking lot and murdered in cold blood.

His son was my high school boyfriend and my fiancee during college when we lived together in a series of tiny apartments.

His parents were always very good to me.

His father taught me to love the flea market.

He taught me everything I know about credit and money and savings and spending and being thrifty.

He was kind and warm and funny and never got riled up.

At the time I was feeling very unsure about God and he used to say to me, "You know Sarah Lynn, believing in God is free, so I go ahead and do it. Besides, if I don't believe and I am wrong, then what happens? Nothing bad can come from believing."

It helped me believe in God.

He used to tease his little boys and hold them on the floor while tickling them until they would scream "Daddy's meaner and I am a wiener!"...and every time the going gets tough for me I still say "I'm meaner."

It helps me get through.

Who we are is really a collection of our life experiences, and in my collection he played a very big role at a pivotal time in my life.

I may not have been able to make a go of it with his son, but he came to my wedding when I married David and he was happy for us.

In fact, we just saw him at the flea market this fall.

There are few men on earth who are as honest and faithful as he was.

It's just fucking wrong that it ended that way.

My heart breaks for his wife, his kids.

Big ***, I hope you are at the best flea market ever. In heaven.

21 comments:

  1. Much sympathy to you and his family as well.

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  2. Sarah, you write beautifully about the things that mean the most to you. My thoughts are with you and his family.

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  3. This is so sad. My thoughts and prayers are with his family.

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  4. How awful. I'm so sorry for you and his family. Please know that I'm thinking of you. Hugs.

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  5. Your post made me cry. You expressed yourself so beautifully. I'm going through a terrible personal crisis right now, and I keep saying to myself, "I'm tough." It helps. My sympathies to this poor man's family. Heartbreak.

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  6. *hugs*

    My thoughts are with you and with his family.

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  7. My sympathies to all of you. xo

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  8. Anonymous3:09 PM

    So sorry for your loss. I've been following you for awhile now without comment. This was too special not to reach out. Here's a hug from Austin, TX. And you are so right...it's wrong....fuckin way wrong.

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  9. You're stronger and he's still able to inspire- so beautifully expressed from your heart. My condolences to you and his family- I hope you're able to all spend time together to celebrate his life-gentlemanly tickle kings certainly deserve such a gathering!

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  10. Such a horrible thing, Im so sorry, for you and his family. What a world we live in. ((BIG HUGS))

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  11. Crap. Not another of your chosen family. I am so sorry to hear of this. Many hugs to you.

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  12. So sorry for the loss of your friend. Your tribute to him is beautiful and I'm sure it is comforting to his family to know what an impact he made on your life.

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  13. I am so sorry. Keeping you and his family in my prayers. He sounds like he was a blessing to all who knew him.

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  14. What a beautiful tribute to ***. The shooting hits close to home, since there is an ABB here in town. So scary!
    Blessings, Patti

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  15. I'm so sorry for your loss Sarah. My heart goes out to you and your friend's family.

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  16. I'm really sorry about what happened.. I'm a Christian and based on your observations he seems to be a good man and good men naturally go to heaven.

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  17. So sadden to hear of this. An incredible senseless act. Life is just not fair, to take such a wonderful, man. My thoughts are with you and his family, too.

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  18. Oh Sarah, I'm so sorry. Thoughts and prayers go out to his family and to yours too.

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  19. Sarah, This made me so sad. :( What a beautiful tribute you give him. xo

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  20. So sorry to hear this. :( He sounds like a wonderful man.

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