Friday, February 12, 2010

I'm here

Hi there.

Here I am.

Surgery went ok. It was pretty easy actually, as far as surgery goes. I had to do a lot of advocating for myself about what I did and not want as far as anesthesia and pain medicine (which I actually did not need at all), but that's ok I suppose.

The hormonal roller coaster from hell is starting. If anyone has any brilliant ideas (pharmaceutical or herbal) about how to help myself through this part I am all ears. I find the incessant crying really, really bothersome. Weird perhaps? I don't know. I just want to get on with my life. I want to feel REGULAR.

I hadn't even been home from surgery 10 minutes when Jackson's preschool was on the phone. He had an accident which resulted in him losing a little chunk of his cornea. Again. (I swear he does not blink appropriately, but the doctor just shrugs.) I was COMPLETELY unprepared for dealing with him crying in pain for 12 hours after I just had that damn surgery.

That was seriously hard. I felt all out of control like "SOMEONE PLEASE HELP MY BABY" while feeling totally unable to do anything about it myself other than have him lie on top of me.

And then the damn cat had diarrhea and she had poop ALL OVER herself. So here I was running after her, gagging from this damn antibiotic from hell, trying to not cry, and dealing with poop everywhere.

It makes me laugh now, but it was so not funny on Thursday.

In other news:
I won this quilt on Ebay and while I had it spread it out so I could admire it from my couch last week I thought my fat, fluffy white cat looked yummy on it.
I mailed the heart to heart boxes this week and this was my contribution this year. I made glass bead forget me not bouquets with little glass bead bees.
Photos suck, but whatever, life is hard right now. Ha. These things took forever to make and they were hard because, well, I was pregnant and gagging and exhausted and really having to push through.

Sigh.

The never ending "pregnant, not pregnant, pregnant, not pregnant" thing is hard to deal with.

Anyway.

The olympics are starting tonight. That is usually big excitement for us, and we watch every minute we can. (Except right now I am so damn sick of the tv after doing nothing but lying on the couch watching tv for a month.)

I need some kind of project to keep my hands and heart and mind busy, but I wander around like a zombie totally unable to make a decision about what to even work on.

This too shall pass...

So. That about sums up my ever exciting life from my couch. Thanks for checking in on me. It keeps from me wallowing quite as much.

15 comments:

  1. You poor sweetheart! I'm so sorry. I hope your body heals quickly. Hearts take a lot longer. I know because I've been there, too. I was on away from home and without my husband, so that was really hard. At least I didn't have a cat with diarrhea running about my house and sweet little guy in pain to worry about. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
    Michelle xoxoxo

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  2. p.s. love the quilt and your curtains!!

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  3. Hang in there. Thinking of you.

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  4. Hoping you find that perfect project to keep your thoughts busy during this difficult healing time. Hoping the things-beyond-your-control-that-are-most-likely-to-happen-when-you-least-want-them-to lessen as well.

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  5. Sarah, I think rest and relaxation are your best hope. When I thought I was having a miscarriage with Carter, my doctor recommended Sepia: http://beneforce.com/informationfaq/homeopathic/sepia.htm

    I didn't end up using it because, well, I was still pregnant.

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  6. Sarah,
    I don't have any remedies, only some simple words to let you know that I'm thinking of you and everything you've been through.

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  7. Please know that I'm thinking of you. I completely understand what you've been through. It does get better, but it takes time and you need to take care of yourself. Finding your crafty-side might help.

    (((extra hugs)))

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  8. i am praying for you. my heart hurts for you. i have been where you are and the best medicine is to cry...cry...scream...get it out & if you have to cry some more...well cry some more. take as long as you need to mourn your loss. i ended up with a small heart tattoo..but that is me. but i will say this...God is good...i have 5 kids now after being told i would only have 1. we adopted & 3 weeks before our adoption was finaly with my sweet Elizabeth, i was pregnant with my 3rd child. i miscarried between my third & 4th child (the tattoo). my 4th child that i carried to term was actually a twin but his twin reabsorbed. and i have a 10 month old now (my 5th).... i have a 15 year old, 10 year old, 4 3/4 year old, 3 year old, & 10 month old. it will happen for you. just rest & wait. God is in control. be blessed. sorry about the poopy cat. sorry about your son's eye. that sounds bad.
    again, praying for you.
    Wendy Simmons

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  9. Oh man you do bad days like nobody else! I wish I had some ideas to help you but other than my happy pills I just try to lose myself in crafts.

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  10. Oh girl, Im so sorry. ((HUGS))

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  11. I don't know if our advices would ever work but you need to be happy though you can't. Be calm and optimistic.

    Everyone is worried and we're praying. That cat and poop is funny though.

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  12. Sarah! Oh sweetie! I wish I had words that could take away your pain. You are in the thoughts and prayers of so many of us-and in that small way you're not alone. xo-Mel

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  13. How awful! I will send my healing thoughts and prayers your way. I think you should give yourself a break and not think about any projects and just lose yourself in front of the television for awhile. Think of it as "Catching up on Pop Culture". Sometimes I also tune into the cultural juggernaut that is video gaming.

    I have kids too, and I feel that it is okay for them to see us kicking back a little and relaxing.

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  14. I miscarried between my first and second children, I wasn't very far along but it still totally sucked. I wish you all the best and I have a wonderful, wonderful remedy for you: Bachs Flower Essences Rescue Remedy. I cannot stress enough how amazing this stuff is, it's freaking fabulous and they sell it at Meijer and most herb stores. You can even rub it on the temples of children for some calm for them. It has a bit of alcohol in it so I wouldn't give it to them straight but rubbing it into the skin should be fine. I know things will get better for you, hang in there sweety!

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  15. Poor Sarah, it just goes fronm bad to worse. I hope you are feeling better soon. I know you won't me emotionally better for awhle, but physically at least.

    At least the cat didn't have the poops on the lovely quilt! That's one good thing!

    I'm hoping my Heart To Heart swap comes today - I can't wait to see the goodies! Your beaded flowers are too sweet.

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