Monday, November 21, 2011


(Yes, the cheeky monkey is looking for trouble in the trash can!)

A local grocery store runs this crazy $10 off a $50 purchase on Thursdays occasionally.

It happened to fall on last Thursday, the Thursday before Thanksgiving.

Being the completely insane person I am, I took both the children there. We waited in the craziest lines I have ever seen at the supermarket.

As we were waiting the woman in front of me says, "How old is your baby"? I reply that she is 10 months. "How old is your older child?" Seven, I say.

And then out of her mouth comes something that made me want to go a little bit postal.

"Oh, she is one of THOSE."

Imagine my mouth hanging open here.

And then my brain working furiously to remind myself that Jack is standing right there.

So, loudly, and bluntly I said "SHE IS NOT ONE OF 'THOSE'".

That's the thing about infertility. You think everything is okay, and you are cruising along in life forgetting about much of it and then one day you are standing there buying some stuffing for your seven year old (who can only think about stuffing) and WHAMO! it smacks you right in the f*ing face.

And before you know you are in the middle of the supermarket - eye to eye with some broad you don't even know - and you want to tell her that she might be a lot of things that are yet to be determined, but what she most certainly is not is an accident.

That what she is a miracle.

That she is two of the hardest, most gut wrenching years of your life. That she is lost babies. And a lost twin. And standing up in your driveway hemorrhaging after going to get an ice cream with your kid. And trips to the ER. And fertility drugs. And many, many visits to doctors.

That she is the most loved little girl in our little world.

And my "older child?"

He is exceptional too, thank you very much.

He is, without a doubt in the world, one of the brightest little boys I have ever known. And I have to fight a lot for him too right now. I have to call the school every single day and argue that he is NOT going to sit in a desk day after day wasting away. He is not a test score. And I don't care if it is a challenge for all of us (because trust me, it's a challenge for me too, Jack is way smarter than I am).

But you know what? He is NOT one of "those" kids either. It's a different kind of "those," but if the shoe doesn't fit...

So, Dear Woman in the Shop N Save, you should consider yourself lucky that my older child was standing there.

But next time?

Keep your opinions on other's reproductive "habits" to yourself.

Because my kids are NOT one of "those."


  1. It never fails to amaze me what comes out of some people's mouths. I think your kids are exceptionally sweet, and you're exceptionally patient for not decking her on the spot.

  2. Anonymous6:18 PM

    "Never say anything that doesn't improve upon silence." When the twins were babies and everybody second-guessed my parenting skills in public (thanks folks)I wanted to print that quote on cards to hand out...

  3. Oh my.....I had a very similar conversation with a nosy old lady in Aldi's just today! We struggled with infertility too and have been blessed with two little ones. My son is nearly 6 and my daughter is 7 weeks. Today while grocery shopping, a grumpy old lady commented to me that my daughter was a happy accident. I just looked at her and walked away................

  4. You've really had your share of nuts, haven't you? That is just appalling! Maybe if there's a next time, smile innocently and say, "Yes she is! She's our miracle baby!"

  5. Anonymous7:41 PM

    People really say some DUMB things. Not to mention rude.

  6. You GO girl! Can I come and watch next time when there are no kids along?

  7. Boy, do I know it! People ask me all the time about my kids. When I say, I do not have any, they respond with, "Oh, you do not like kids." No, I have just spent 180 grossly underpaid days for 27 years with your kids as their teacher. Yes, I wanted kids; no it did not happen. Yes, it is painful, but I am thankful that I am not as judgemental as those people. Smile Sarah, they are both beautiful, interesting, and most importantly, they are yours~

  8. Hmmm....people are just stupid when it comes to opening their mouths and saying what lives in their pea brains!

    I must warn my sister - her two are 22 years and 1 year old - about ignorance liable to befall her. Definitely a miracle baby-one unexpected but surely not an accident in God's plan!!

    You ARE to be commended for NOT decking her!! What an ignorant remark!

  9. Try telling people your son is 18 and your daughter almost 4 and see what looks you get. I then have to explain that, yes, I have two baby daddy's. At least I married the second one, and thank goodness everyday I did not marry the first one. ;) I have even gone so far as to explain to people who make those judgey judgey faces that we went through 3 years of miscarriages and crap doctors to get the second kid here safe and sound. That usually shuts them right up and wipes that look off their faces.
    Your kids are adorable so people need to put a sock in it regardless of how far apart in age they are. I will sometimes just say that we waited so long so that we don't have to pay a babysitter when we want to go out on a bender. ;)

  10. "Cheeks" rocks those teeny jeans!


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