It happened to fall on last Thursday, the Thursday before Thanksgiving.
Being the completely insane person I am, I took both the children there. We waited in the craziest lines I have ever seen at the supermarket.
As we were waiting the woman in front of me says, "How old is your baby"? I reply that she is 10 months. "How old is your older child?" Seven, I say.
And then out of her mouth comes something that made me want to go a little bit postal.
"Oh, she is one of THOSE."
Imagine my mouth hanging open here.
And then my brain working furiously to remind myself that Jack is standing right there.
So, loudly, and bluntly I said "SHE IS NOT ONE OF 'THOSE'".
That's the thing about infertility. You think everything is okay, and you are cruising along in life forgetting about much of it and then one day you are standing there buying some stuffing for your seven year old (who can only think about stuffing) and WHAMO! it smacks you right in the f*ing face.
And before you know you are in the middle of the supermarket - eye to eye with some broad you don't even know - and you want to tell her that she might be a lot of things that are yet to be determined, but what she most certainly is not is an accident.
That what she is a miracle.
That she is two of the hardest, most gut wrenching years of your life. That she is lost babies. And a lost twin. And standing up in your driveway hemorrhaging after going to get an ice cream with your kid. And trips to the ER. And fertility drugs. And many, many visits to doctors.
That she is the most loved little girl in our little world.
And my "older child?"
He is exceptional too, thank you very much.
He is, without a doubt in the world, one of the brightest little boys I have ever known. And I have to fight a lot for him too right now. I have to call the school every single day and argue that he is NOT going to sit in a desk day after day wasting away. He is not a test score. And I don't care if it is a challenge for all of us (because trust me, it's a challenge for me too, Jack is way smarter than I am).
But you know what? He is NOT one of "those" kids either. It's a different kind of "those," but if the shoe doesn't fit...
So, Dear Woman in the Shop N Save, you should consider yourself lucky that my older child was standing there.
But next time?
Keep your opinions on other's reproductive "habits" to yourself.
Because my kids are NOT one of "those."