Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Quickly

I only  have a moment before getting the kids going, but I called yesterday and ended up with an appointment to see my old OB on Thursday. (He only does gyn/fertility work now, which is why he wasn't my baby catcher this time.)  He tends to be very aggressive, so hopefully he has something brilliant to say about this situation.

Also, I wanted to say it's not about anyone offering to help if they know us IRL, it's that it sort of becomes the elephant in the room. (To be honest I don't NEED any sort of *help*, it's helpful for someone like me to just keep busy right now.)

It's that it doesn't become part of the conversation.

It's that people read along here and then never utter a single word about the miscarriages, for example.

 It's that as soon as people read something here that they even THINK is about them they FREAK OUT. (And quite frankly I purposely never say anything particularly inflammatory about anyone else.)

 It becomes a real hindrance to blogging.  I am left with two choices - say nothing personal at all, which is completely against why I blog or say what I have to say, but be forced to dance around some of it and then piss off myself (and who knows who else) in the process. It leaves me feeling as if there are holes in my story here. Important holes. Big holes.

Ugh.

*I tried for a long time to keep the blog secret from people I know IRL. But over time I would forget a tagline on an email or Dave would mention it, or someone on facebook would mention it, etc. I clearly do NOT blog anonymously, but it was nice to be in that sort of relative black hole for so many years.

5 comments:

  1. Good morning Sarah. I've been thinking on your post from yesterday and I don't remember the recoveries being abnormal on my three but I had the baby blues so badly after my second it was unbearable. I would sit and not be able to form words because I seemed so lost. Just recently I weaned myself off of the dreaded anti depressants after 13 years. It has been magical to see myself cope even with all I have on my plate. There is certainly something that needs to be addressed with your OB and finding a good one is incredibly difficult. Remember I love to read your blog because you are REAL. Keep your chin up and know that I am thinking of you and those gorgeous kiddos....Smiles..Renee

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  2. I use to have the same issues with blogging & friends/family you do. What one good friend explained to me that I had never thought of was:She felt she was reading my diary (with permission)and thought I just wanted to get it off my chest,not necessarly TALK about it. Since I had already told the whole world. But when I would bring up whatever I had blogged about she said she felt a sence of relief, that is was OK to talk about it. She was trying to be respectful of me. Maybe they need to feel permission to talk about what you blog about.

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  3. Sarah, It is very brave to honestly blog, and I, for one, totally appreciate your honesty. I am glad that you are going to your OB/GYN. If he can't fix it, he will know someone who can, and you can trust him. Just because you were fortunate enough to have Grant does not mean that you should be in pain. NO! You need to enjoy that precious boy, and Sammi, and Jack, and your hubby! Quit worrying about "those who have unwanted opinions" and keep on blogging! We love you, and we want you to feel better!

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  4. Really, really hoping you get this fixed soon and well. Totally stinks to be going through all this! And I am grateful for your honesty too. Those IRL people can just sit on a tack if they are going dance around you like that.

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  5. Thinking of you and appreciating you and your honesty. Good luck.

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Hi there. What say you?