Thursday, February 07, 2013

Under the tree is the place for me

I found myself lying under a giant old oak tree in Florida once. It was a beautiful day - perfect temps, fluffy white clouds, the air full of the smell of orange blossoms. It was just me and a tree.

On the way home from the millionth doctor appointment in two weeks I longed for that tree.

Last Monday Grant and Sammi had well baby appointments. Grant had a dime sized spot of bad skin right in front of his ear that I hadn't been able to make go away with my usual eczema creams.

The ped said "eh, that's fungal, put some lotrimin on it."

I did question him on that - ringworm on the baby? NO WAY. I don't allow anyone to touch him, it's winter, my other kids have no ringworm, blah blah.

But I did what he said and put lotrimin on it.  Within 24 hours he started having more spots on his face (different looking than the first).

By Thursday his face was covered in a rash, his eye was swelling shut.

I called the assvice nurse to ask about benadryl. No way she says, bring him in now.

See the NP this time who says "oh that? Impetigo."

Again I questioned them. Impetigo on the baby? NO WAY.

But she was CONFIDENT he would be all better in a few days with antibiotics and antibiotic cream and scrubbing with antibacterial soap and not letting the other children anywhere near him.

Okay then. 

Two days later yet more spots. Call assvice nurse again. Told to come back AGAIN.

This time the ped says "oh that? Sebhorric dermatitis. Go home and hope he outgrows it soon."

At this point I am an emotional wreck. Sammi is now sick from being in the doctors office constantly, my gut says they have no clue what is wrong with the baby, said baby now looks like a leper with running oozing sores all over him, and me? NOT KEEPING IT TOGETHER. 

As it turns out I can handle having my body ripped apart as long as the baby is okay but the minute he is not okay I start to FREAK THE FUCK OUT about how there is something wrong the baby and I am wrecked from giving birth to him and OMG PLEASE SOMEONE JUST FIX US ALL RIGHT NOW.

So off we went to the dermatologist who says "Oh that? That is dermatitis, but I think eczema. He clearly had some sort of systemic allergic reaction to *something* and we have to shut that down NOW."  Put a steroid cream on him for no more than 14 days, if it doesn't go away call me back.

We are on day three of that med (For what now shall be known as the $700 rash). Grant looks better, but not fixed.

And now he has Sammi's head cold.

To add to the fun yesterday I finally got into the see the urogynecology specialist about my prolapse. I suppose the good news is he also believes my prolapes are "very minor" and are "likely to be very well healed within a year."  The bad news is that TMI WARNING! he believes the much more pressing problem is that my perineum is indeed healed *very badly* and that all of my muscles there are completely separated (including possibly my sphincter muscles). He said this fix has a better outcome than fixing the prolapses, but it is "very very painful and the stitches want to pull out constantly so it means a long period of bedrest."  He did also say its possible I will find that I can live like this and just get on with it.  (Right now I still think yea, not so much.)  So, I am to breastfeed the baby as long as I want then come back for some more testing once I am done nursing and he will have a better idea of what my normal hormonal state leaves me looking like.  I am apparently not a great candidate for physical therapy (although he said I can try if I want) because the muscles are just too damaged. (And I already had guessed that, I bought a therapy dvd and I told Dave I cannot do it because I just cannot make those muscles work at all, now I know why.) 

I am not sure what to feel about that. Relieved somewhat and terrified somewhat, since it is yet another problem.

When I said to him "why don't OBs mention this problem with big babies? If I had known I would have opted for a c-section in a new york minute?" He replied "we have done studies on that and it never changes the outcome of the patient's decision." But ladies, I am here to say who would have chosen this over a c-section?

NO ONE, that's who.


That's whats up with me. Grant turned 4 months old and I haven't taken a photo because of his face.

Everyone should now be holding their heart to heart swap boxes. I need to get photos up on the blog here, and I will do that either tomorrow or Sunday (all at one time instead of spread out).

And Sammi has her birthday party on Saturday too.

If I live that long. LOL


  1. Poor baby Grant, I hope he fully recovers soon. Hoping you feel better soon too.
    Can't wait to see all the lovely Valentines.


  2. Anonymous5:43 PM

    You poor things, you definitely need a few good things to balane it all out. I hope you told the doctor that sudy sounds like BS - prolapse vs 6 weeks of c-section recovery...a no brainer to me!

  3. Gosh that is some crazy stuff! Reading over your birth story on Grant I recall the OB and nurses really pushed for you to have a C-section so I'm confused with your comment regarding that now. Seems they were very concerned about delivering a big baby vaginally but you insisted.


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