Friday, November 22, 2013

Said no one. Ever.

I am at a phase in life that seems to invite a lot of very "helpful" advice.

No wait, maybe every phase in life invites "helpful" comments?

Never mind that though.

There is a certain line of helpful advice that is most irritating to me right now. It's of the "You are going to miss this" or "don't rush this!" variety.

There are sweet moments in this phase of life to be sure. But miss this?  Not unless you are a really sick and twisted masochist is what I say.

Let's think this through for a minute.

Would anyone say this:

You know I really miss those days when I did not sleep through the night for three plus years straight. (That's right. Three years. Pregnant with Sammi + Sammi infancy + Pregnant with Grant + Grant infancy, who still does not sleep through = more than three years.)

You know I really miss those days when I went from wiping a poopy ass to wiping a nose to cleaning up food to wiping another poopy ass to wiping another nose to wiping up more food.

You know I really miss those days when I spent every minute in between cleaning up poop and snot referring fights that make a women's prison look like a walk in the park. I could not get enough of the fighting, biting, hair pulling, hitting, shoving, throwing, and scratching!

You know I really miss those days when my children screamed so loud and so often and so many times all at once that I couldn't hear anything but the noises in my head ringing from the deafness!

You know I really miss those days when I only got 9 minutes to myself and those 9 minutes were spent locked in the pantry trying to call the water company to pay the bill before they turn off the water with two small people banging on the door and screaming as if they are being stabbed.

You know I really miss having an audience while I use the toilet. And shower. And bathe. And I REALLY miss the dirty clothes and the dirty hair that stinks bad enough to kill you.

You know I really miss slaving over meals every day and then barely getting to eat an ice cold bite because there are a 1000 messes and needs and behaviors to tend to during meal times.

Come on. Am I right?  No one would say that stuff. And that's reality with two toddlers plus one big kid.

Sure there are fleeting moments when you think about chubby baby fingers or little toes. But come on ladies! Kids growing up is awesome. Independence is awesome!

Kids are like wine - they get better and better with age.

So, to the dear lady behind me in the grocery store when my children were acting like total beasts and the line was 14 miles long who said to me "honey, I do NOT miss those days," I salute you.

And to everyone else who reminds me at least 14 times a day that I "WILL SURELY MISS THIS!" Please, for the love of all that is holy, just don't with that. I love my kids like crazy. I chose this. I wouldn't choose anything else. But this is freaking hard work man. Let's not diminish that.

A year from now will be easier. And year from that will be even easier. I know that. You know that.  This right now? It's slogging through the damn trenches man.

Miss that?

Said no one. Ever.


  1. You won't get any arguments from me. I will NEVER miss the toddler years. NEVER EVER EVER. And anyone who says I will is liable to get punched in the face by me.

  2. yes ma'am! mine didn't sleep through the night till he was 4! And when he quit having "accidents" at night, I realized I hadn't changed his sheets in a month because I was so used to needing to wash them daily!

  3. Anonymous12:15 AM

    Amen! I will treasure moments of this year forever but the constant whining and sleep refusal and the refusal to eat and the constant mess? Bring on the big girl days I say! The only thing I will miss hands down is the snuggles. the 4am breastfeed of a newborn. And the giggles. Thats probably it. I will never ever miss formula!

  4. I totally can relate and laughed so hard at this!

  5. I am laughing soooooo much, this is great!!! And I do NOT miss the toddler days one bit. Mine are 20, 18, and 13 going on 25. It is MUCH better now, trust me.

  6. There are parts that I miss, but the whole experience? Not so much!

  7. Not sure I agree that things get easier... they just get different. I do not miss what has passed. I do wish that I had been less busy so that I could have noticed a lot of what happened ( the good stuff LOL) BUT I really don't miss the teen years!! Or the painful cutting of apron strings episodes...Or getting them launched after college!!

  8. OK- I take it back, I don't want Sammi! You can keep her and her cute purple shoes! LOL
    You rock for just telling it like it is!
    I don't know how you do it. And I'm not just saying that. I literally Don't Know How You Do It!
    I'm proud of you! Erica :)


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