Monday, December 09, 2013

12 days of stars and a ranting lunatic mother

 The last of the stars! (Well except for glitter cardstock which I did not take a photo of.)

I knew I wanted to make some sort of bead angel when I found the spun cotton angel heads while digging for some other star supply. I was having the hardest time sorting out how to incorporate them into the star theme. Making the beads themselves into a star shape was impossible.
 I asked on facebook and something someone said triggered the idea to make them hold star garlands.
 I only made five of these - one for each of us.

I am finally making real progress on using up the hoard of stuff I have been saving for so many years. Hurray for that!

Yesterday Sammi actually fell asleep with Dave watching some silly Christmas cartoon. For my kids that is unheard of - they never just fall asleep somewhere.

Not onto my lunatic rant.

That damn elf on a shelf. I want to murder that damn elf on a shelf. I want to beg other mothers to murder their elves.

Jack has been asking me every day where that damn elf is. Now, we only half ass did that last year. (We cannot remember to move that idiot thing.)

So he has a little friend over to play on Saturday and I hear the friend innocently ask if we have one of those elves.

And then it hits me.

The kids at school. That's why my kid keeps asking me about that g-damn elf.

In general I do a lot of things I don't really care strongly about so the kids will "fit in". I take them to parties, I let them do certain activities, hell, I even argued strongly FOR baptism because I KNOW that kids around here will give them hell if they are not baptized. (I am not very religious or non religious. It just sort of is for me. I think that sounds bad but I took hell for having no religion around here as a child. I want my kids to avoid that kind of nonsense.)

But elves????? For real????

Then I read on facebook that TEACHERS have the stupid elves in the classroom. In the classroom for god's sake!

I don't tell my kids they don't get presents if they are naughty. Kids are naughty. Period. They are children. For us last year the elf was just a visitor, not a damn secret agent spy for Santa Claus.

Anyway. I go to the basement this morning to try and find the stupid elf. Dig forever in bins that were not touched this year. Finally find the box, pull it out and thank Jesus this insanity is over.

Get upstairs and the box is empty.

Have mercy.

I don't where the creepy, stupid elf even is.

And you know what? GOOD. We are not having a sneaking spying tattling elf around here. Period.

I want to tell Jack that. But then I know he will take that back to school. So now I have to come up with stupid lie about some stupid elf.

Stop the madness.


*I am sure some of you love the elf and already defending that elf in your heads. I really do not care what other people do. But it is a fact of life that ALL of this stuff becomes a competition for kids of a certain age. It just is what is. (And yes, I am sure I do things that my kids brags about at school causing other people to feel pressure to keep up. I wish like hell there was a way around this stage or whatever it is.)


  1. I am so with you on the ELF!! We don't have one and NEVER will(well I have 5 vintage ones on my kitchen tree, but they don't move and the kids haven't heard the stupid story of them). Seriously, having the creepy little thing moving around your house doing naughty things all along while it is supposed to be spying on the kids to see if they are naughty! What kind of lesson is that? And an elf, is definitely NOT what Christmas is all about. So there, I hear you on the elf. Tell Jack, that it just isn't something you do in your house. End of story. And you are religious, but you could still tell him that that is not what it is about and tell him about Jesus. Heck, then he would have something to say back to the kids at school(especially if they are so concerned about being baptized). Can you imagine the looks on their faces if he tells them what the true reason for Christmas is and not some dumb elf :)
    Love your stars btw, can't wait to see the whole tree!
    Sorry for the novel.


    1. that was supposed to say "not religious" in the middle there! I need to learn to proof read.

  2. Anonymous7:37 PM

    I kept hearing about this stupid elf so I had to google it. Stupidest idea ever.

  3. The only parents I know who do that elf are the uber-competitive type. Parenthood is NOT a competition and I refuse to play. We have had a very sweet advent calendar tradition that I came up with when my girl was probably about Sammi's age. I made it myself, with pockets for every day of December leading up to Christmas. Each day has a new activity or treat - mostly candy pulled out of the Halloween basket. I coordinate the day's activities to our calendar, so if there is a school concert or we have a holiday party, that's the activity for the day. She adores it and while it sometimes feels like work, most of the time, with about 5 minutes of planning the end of November, beginning of December, it's not.

  4. No elf for us either. Heck, the stupid Tooth Fairy can barely remember to show up, there's no way an elf would work out.


Hi there. What say you?