Thursday, March 13, 2008

That *!&%$*@ Easter Bunny

At some point on Monday Jack asked me where the Easter Bunny was. I answered the only way I knew how at that moment, "at the mall." So his constant refrain all day Monday was, "Can we go to the mall and get the Easter bunny and bring him home with us?" I promised we would go visit that bunny first thing Tuesday morning.

I got up Tuesday, checked and double checked the Easter bunny's schedule, got Jack dressed and his hair actually combed (this is quite an ordeal right now, his hair is not baby fine anymore and no matter how we try and get it cut it is pretty much always a mess), and off to the mall we went at 10 am. We arrive and there is no bunny. We wait 20 minutes and still no bunny. (And that was 20 mins of disaster, trying to keep him clean and from rolling on the floor as he prone to doing right now.)
A girl arrives at the booth and I ask her where the bunny is. She informs me that the bunny will not be arriving today until 11 25 or so. The bunny that I was assured would be arriving at 10 am is not arriving until lunchtime.

I tell Jack we will have to come back later and he bursts into tears. "BUT MAMA WHERE IS THE EASTER BUNNY? YOU SAID WE WERE GOING TO SEE THE EASTER BUNNY!" You have to know that at this point it's a good thing there was no Easter Bunny around. I wanted to throttle someone.

Ok, keep calm Sarah. What lies can you come up with now? Right. The Easter bunny has car trouble. This seems to appease Jack for the moment.
We run an errand and return to the mall. On the way Jack says to me, "The Easter bunny can share with me." (He means candy of course.)

I am so relieved to see that big headed Easter bunny sitting on her bench. And there is no line. We get Jack on her lap and then he starts being oh so very three. He will not smile. He is desperately trying not to smile. He is pressing his lips together as tightly as he can. The bunny is tickling him. She is showing him her teeth. They are blowing bubbles. They are throwing rubber toys.

Still no smile.

I am starting to feel like a crazy person again, wondering why I ever agreed to this. (Of course I agreed to it because I want Jack to enjoy being a kid.) And then he cracks a sort of smile and thank the gods the girl snapped the photo in time.

We get a pretzel and get back in the car to go home and blow bubbles outside. As we are nearing the neighborhood Jack drops the real bomb, "When I get bigger I can drive the car. Like mommies and daddies. 16 comes after 10."

I have barely survived the Easter bunny. I have flashes of BIG trouble ahead. 16 and cars and girls and slamming doors. Oh my.

Ahhhh, the good times that $20 will buy me. LOL

Thank you *@&$#(@&% Easter bunny.


  1. What a cute picture and how very typical not to want to smile and do what you would like them to do, when you need them to do it. I don't think that it is limited to three year olds.

    And I'm already frightened of the teen-age years. I just keep telling myself that these characteristics (being stubborn, independent, etc) will serve her well as an adult. Its the only thing that keeps my sanity in check. :)

  2. LOL! I'm not sure Peter even knows who the Easter Bunny is - maybe we should keep it that way!

  3. I laughed out loud while reading this. You really have a way with words! It's very Erma Bombeck.

  4. Ha! What a crack up! Makes for great memories.

  5. Anonymous10:45 AM

    I cannot believe how grown up your little Jack looks!(Never mind the floor rolling;-))Soo cute picture!

  6. Oh my! First, that picture is totally adorable and second, I know what you mean, I wonder sometimes how on earth we're going to survive three teenage boys!

  7. Very cute picture!

    We decided that the kids can't drive until they are 18 or they buy a car/provide their own insurance. lol

  8. Jack is precious! I love your take on life! My son will be sixteen this summer. Wish me luck! LOL

  9. Ohmy gosh that was so fun to read and brought back some memories. Jack is such a sweetie. Clarice

  10. Anonymous3:10 AM

    I'm cracking up because I was just at the mall last night and saw this exact same bunny, and thought to myself, "How in the world can I keep the girls away from here?"
    Cheers. ERB

  11. I love that last picture. Is it Little Boy Blue? Reminds me of a nursery rhyme, but I am a little rusty on those so I can't think of which one. Think of this as a funny story to share with Jack down the road and thank the stars that 16 is 6 whole years more than 10!

  12. Anyone that can swear at the easter bunny is okay in my book!

  13. The Mall Easter Bunny ruined the magic of childhood for my Son. He realized it was a big fat fake and started questioning everything...Leprechauns, tooth faries, and yes, SANTA. He was devasted (sorry but he was also almost 11 I think! LOL- we were able to keep it alive that long so we did good I guess! He's now 24 and STILL remembers the heart break!
    That picutre of Jack at the base of the tree is wonderful!


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