Sunday, October 17, 2010

the sounds of silence

First, thank you for your comments on the last post. I did end up turning comments off on that post because I was starting to feel like I was just *over* talking about it, you know?

I do feel like I should address something that a lot of you mentioned, talking to Dave. Dave totally knows how I feel about this. I may (or may not) be a lot of things, but I am no shrinking violet.

In an ideal world we are 100% on the same page about this. I know he doesn't want to be doing it either. I know it sucks for him too.

We have worked really hard to be a "family first" kind of family. And until the past year we have done a pretty damn good job at it. But like everyone, we are definitely feeling the pressures of the state of the world, if you will. Jobs without raises, severe cutbacks in benefits*, and a general feeling of insecurity.

I continue to hope that this is a temporary situation. Not just for us, but for everyone. Because lord almighty, it sucks.

After he did a SUPER job of helping me clean up a lot of messes around here, I took Jack to my mother's for a few hours today. And then I wandered the flea market a little in silence. (As much as I can wander. Something that went unmentioned in the last post is that I have EXCRUCIATING pelvic pain. Walking is becoming a serious problem. As you can imagine that kind of pain is not really helping my state of mind.**)

And now I am watching the food network. In silence.

I think I am going to make Jack's number 6 birthday shirt today if I can find some fabric for the number. And then I might take some blog photos.

Normal is good. And necessary for my mental health. Clearly.

*Our current "not meeting all the bills" is 100% related to medical bills. We are ridiculously underinsured. Yes, we know all about negotiating. And paying in installments. But we are talking about a HEFTY chunk of change in that pile of bills. It's not unexpected, but it is still overwhelming.

**I had a lot of issues with depression when I was pregnant with Jack. While I am not feeling it like I did then, I am definitely having crazy, hormonal mood swings.


  1. Anonymous3:10 PM

    Hang in there dear. It will get better!
    Austin, TX

  2. We are feeling the furlough day blues around here. I have been penny pinching for so long that things are all starting to wear out at the same time. Ugg. Not unexpected like you say, but still annoying. Glad you got some alone time today.

  3. love you friend.
    hang in there. wish I had something more profound to say or something to help, but all I can think of is to tell you that you are not alone.

  4. sending up some prayers for you....

  5. Ugh. I can understand why you are so overwhelmed.

    re: the pelvic pain - I had a condition when pregnant with Maria called SPD - symphisis pubic disfunction (I think) and it helped to get a belly support belt. The Dr also said I could take ibuprofen until 28 weeks. The pain was so bad I could do nothing - walk, sit, roll over in bed. It was terrible. I hope it's NOT what you have, that what you have is simple (but still real) fatigue or ligament pain. But if it's not, ask your Dr about taking some ibuprofen. The relief was worth the miniscule risk to the baby, IMO.


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