Day 12 and 13

Last night was a long night with all the worries. What happens to our kids if this idiot thing kills us? A really terrible thing to worry about, but there it is.

Jack finished a huge puzzle in about two hours. His brain is incredible.

Dave set up the old HO trains to keep grant busy.

I started sewing the bunnies for this years baskets.

Every day the number of cases in the US doubles.

We just keep holding tight here at home. Even thinking about getting Easter candy from target starts to feel like too large of a risk.

We rented a current movie last night. Some of the movies have been released for home viewing since the theaters are closed. It’s $20 and a damn fine deal really.

Today we are going to zoom meeting into church for the first time. I put on mascara for the first time in three weeks for the big event.

Day 11

I’ve had a headache for a few days as spring is desperately trying to spring forth here.

I’ve also been mad about this whole mess. It’s epically fucking stupid.

We had one sunny day and one warm day, so that helped a little I guess.

Last night we had huge hail storms at 3 am and all I could think as it was bartering the house was - well, what now if it wrecks the damn house???

I no longer bother to listen to the numbers on the news. Since we are barely testing anyone, there is no way they are accurate.

My mother insists she needs groceries again and cannot seem to understand we are only going out every two weeks. This is no time for but I wannnnt games.

I’m trying to read and sew a little each day. With the kids here all day there’s a never ending stream of grunt work and that gets old. Yesterday Sam had a little I just want to go to school meltdown, and I reminded her that at home we can learn WHATEVER we are interested in!

In the world -Prince Charles has tested positive. Italy finally seems to have rounded the top of the hill. Spain is keeping bodies in the ice rink. New York is out of morgue space and using tents (or renting freezer trucks?). The president still seems sure we will all be at church on Easter (not a chance, school closed until April 24). Unemployment expected to reach 30%. And the US (even with crappy testing), currently has more cases than anyone in the world.

Day 9

Yesterday was a better day.

The kids and I did twenty minutes of HARD kids aerobics, we found bread flour and bread and yeast and milk (still no toilet paper).

I set up some FaceTime for grant and a book pen pal for Sam.

We chatted with Nani and papa.

It’s supposed to start warming up and not rain for two days starting today. The yard is a total
Swamp but hopefully we can at least get outside.

I’m spending a lot more time in the kitchen and music helps.

Out in the world - the govt approved a $2trillion Coronavirus relief package, healthcare workers are still begging for protective equipment, mercy hospital basically said unless you are dying you can forget a test (and here in St. Louis it seems the only positive tests are coming as the patient is dying) , st Charles county is now under a shelter in place order indefinitely and that means school
Is closed indefinitely, and the president keeps swearing by Easter this will be over (nice wishful thinking there).

I read something that said now is the time to practice radical self acceptance. I’m working on that.

Day 8

It’s still so damn cold and wet here. A little sunshine would help greatly.

The kids teachers had a parade yesterday. They drove through all the neighborhoods they service honking their horns and waving to the kids. Sadly it was really dark by the time they got to
Us, so we couldn’t really see them, but I do love how much they love our kids.

People are starting to die here in St. Louis. All along the story has been - only the elderly or those with pre existing conditions, but yesterday’s death was a young woman who they say had no complications.

Most people report its impossible to get tested though, and it seems like they aren’t turning up at the hospital until it’s too late, as most die within the day.

I can’t lie - that freaks me out.

Today’s talk is delaying the Olympics until 2021. It doesn’t really seem like there’s much choice, but I always look forward to that.

Yesterday I also shouted That next March my ass is sitting on a beach somewhere. Need something to look forward to...

Little house in the burbs, day 7

And then it snowed.

We had just planted some lettuce and spinach in my new garden boxes on Saturday too! Getting the garden going again feels extra important this year. We are still able to easily access fruits and Vegs at the produce stand, but I asked him how long that can go on since the produce auction in Jeff city is shut down. There was no definitive answer.

It was a slightly better day, mostly bc we had no pressing needs.

We’ve used milk delivery for something like 8 years and I thought I would add eggs to the order, or maybe some cheese, but you can forget that, there’s nothing.

I need to go see if we even got all the milk we ordered.

We’ve eaten all the bread, so lunch today starts getting more interesting.

My bread machine did arrive, but you can’t find flour anywhere either.

This afternoon the kids teachers will be doing a drive through parade. I look forward to seeing familiar faces.

Little house in the burbs, day 5 and 6

 On Friday I made the mistake of asking my mother about her grocery needs. I’ve been telling her for weeks to prepare for the long term, but she just really is incapable of planning I suppose. I should’ve planned for her.

I had underestimated how incredibly hard it was going to be to acquire food for her.

Every shelf is empty. Every store has mile long lines. Of course she is down to the last two rolls of toilet paper as well. The ONE thing I don’t really have a lot of. It took me two days, TWO DAYS, of visiting no fewer than twenty stores and waiting in lines to get a few rolls of toilet paper. 

I just really don’t even have words for that. 

Two days and hours of hunting and lines to acquire two packages of toilet paper. 

That kind of pushed me over the edge a little.

I miss America. America, land of plenty. I miss regular life. I miss not feeling like we shan’t dare waste food or paper products. I miss when I didn’t have to wonder with everything we use up when we will be able to get more. I miss things to look forward to! Concerts, the Easter bunny, the flea market. 

I know there has to be an end, but everything is still chaotic and uncertain. 

So, day 5 and 6 shall be marked down as shit.  

Little house in the burbs, day 4

Well, we are somewhat settling into a routine. Working, cooking, walking. I actually managed to make a doll quilt over a few days while the kids were working on some learning activities.


I could use a few things - like chicken- but I have little hope I could actually find any.

I’ve realized this year will likely be without visits to the Easter bunny. That weirdly makes me very sad.

There’s also a weird fear? Reality check? That happens every time we use up the last of something, like a roll of tp, or a bottle of laundry detergent. Logically you know there is more coming, but so much chaos in the stores still. (And for how long?)

Doctors have started cancelling april appointments as well.

I need to get on getting the kids FaceTime access to a friend this weekend...

Little house in the burbs, day 3

The kids are less angsty, at least for now.

It’s weird to not be looking at the calendar - juggling all the things. The only thing to juggle is keeping the kids busy, what to feed us, and how to get some exercise in this never ending rain.

It’s really feeling more and more likely that the kids are simply not going back to school this year. Mostly I’m gutted that jack will likely miss the scholar academy. I was so proud of him and really looking forward to that being a dry run for dorm life, a chance to show him he CAN do it.


I need to find a new quilt or something for myself.

We had our first Missouri death yesterday, and the first case in our county has arrived.  I’ve tried to unhook from the news, I can only digest so much bad news. I did find the news of people working to see if there already is an existing drug that can be used for this hopeful.

The shortage of supplies continues to be the number one news story - including the shortage of protective equipment for healthcare staff.

The food panic hasn’t slowed yet either. I’m trying to train the kids to reach for fresh food first, leave the pantry stuff for later, when we may need it more.

Time to start the day, back tomorrow.

Little house in the burbs, day 3

So much crying and gnashing of teeth here. I get it, I do.

THIS IS NOT REGULAR.

Yesterday some states started cancelling school until August. It’s hard not to feel like that is inevitable.

I’m currently alternating between this will be fine and sheer terror.

The weather is still uncooperative - which is Not helping! We need to be able to go outside.

I’m still trying to figure out how to effectively manage the kids all day long and still have a minute to do something I might enjoy. Although I did get all the Easter stuff out yesterday.

Alright, chores and school await.

Little house in the burbs, day 2

Our first weekday out of school. It’s cold and wet, which is a massive bummer.

I did manage to get the little kids to do a significant amount of learning - homeschool stuff, cooking, puzzles and games.

Jack is an entirely different story, he’s sure I’m trying to force him
Into the army. Lol

The afternoon didn’t go as planned at all, and there was yelling and pictures falling off the walls.

I also managed to make zero time for myself to
Work on anything i would like to do. Maybe tomorrow it will be a little smoother.

Jack and I made lasagna. I haven’t done that in years. Mostly bc of time and let’s be honest - buying it at Costco is way cheaper. It was delish, even if he did declare it way too much work.

I am having a stupidly hard time sleeping, maybe it’s time to go walk on
The elliptical.

Shit just got real, quarantine day 1

After an agonizing wait, our school district has finally closed.

We had spring break last week, so our last day of school was March 5.

I spent this morning making some plans - a chore chart like we use in summer, a print out
Of  “I’m bored activities” and a rough daily schedule - at least for the little kids.

They took FOREVER to make a decision, so I went to Walmart to buy bread for jacks lunches. I was prepared to only send him to school and keep the little kids at home. Shockingly there was a little bread. Forget frozen pizza, toilet paper, eggs, meat of any kind. We are ok for a bit. I have been working on stocking up and the freezer is pretty full. I did have to wait in line at Costco for meat though.

In some ways it’s totally cool - I’m a stay at home mom And have been forever. I have no job worries and I’ve done this for 15+ years (including making do to keep us fed!). On the other hand it is kind of worrisome and has left me tossing and turning at night. So many unknowns right now.

I hope to pop in here as often as I think of it, if for no reason other than to keep a record for this kids.

Xoxo to you and yours

So, two months, eh?  So much has happened really.  

The first week of feb I was on my way to my mom's house to deal with her issues and I fell on the ice at her apartment. I was just walking and then I wasn't. I hit (and injured) everything.  I knew it was bad when I had no idea how to get up, or if I even could get up. Somehow I scooted over to some snow to get some traction and got up, bleeding and broken.  My hands were cut up, I had knocked some ribs around and I couldn't stand straight, I broke my tailbone, I injured my wrist so badly that we are still trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with it, I cracked my head on the damn ice, and on and on.  That knocked me out of commission for a long while. (And still has if we are being honest - by 7 pm my tailbone is killing, my wrist keeps me from doing things like sewing, etc.)

And now, here we are, in the midst of covid-19 pandemic panic. I am a bit of a preparer by nature. I always have extra laundry detergent, a fully stocked freezer, clothes the next size up for the kids, etc. I buy things on sale and just stash them really. It's been increasingly hard to find anything like food (forget pasta, meat, frozen pizza), toilet paper, cleaning products, etc. The lines in the stores were insane at first and now it's eerily quiet. There is no traffic and no one in the stores. I will admit I am finding it a bit stressful. Because while I am generally ALWAYS prepared the thought of HAVING to be prepared is insane! The kids eat through anything you try and stock up on faster than you can restock it.  It happens to be spring break this week and I am mentally preparing for the schools to just go ahead and shut down for two weeks to try and "flatten the curve."  Who knows if that even has worked anywhere?  I do think we all need to get some sort of plan in place in this country and we should've done it weeks ago. 

On top of that mess I got the flu a week ago. I always get a flu shot, so it's mild, but because I am immune comprised from my RA and my meds, it takes me weeks to kick it. I am still coughing like crazy, it's too soon to seek care for that just yet and the thought of getting another respiratory virus on top of it is, well, worrisome. (Plus usually they treat it with steroids which will further shut down my immunity.)

There you have it.  We are generally hanging close to home. Since I cannot sew I have been tidying and organizing and selling ALL THE THINGS. Here is a little bit of what the last two months have held:

 Grant's favorite books are graphic novels - wimpy kid, dog man, captain underpants. For book week at school he wanted to be Greg Heffley. It was right after I had hurt myself, so I slowly made him a little wimpy kid costume with some trim and felt I had hanging around.

 Sam had a few friends sleepover for her birthday.

 Poppet, at 20.5 years old!, is still kicking around with us.

 She is very attached to the kids and likes life best when they put her in their beds with them.

 A dear friend has cancer, so I made her a quilt. It took me MONTHS to finish it and now I haven't seen her to deliver it.  Because she is also so severely immune compromised right now I think I should just pop it in the mail even though we live so close together.

 The not twins are looking so gorgeous and grown up lately.

 They like to do a silly pose after a serious one.

 I was selling ALL THE THINGS to upgrade the kitchen.  We've been dying for a better fridge for years and on new years eve I went to the hardware store to look at plants and bought a fridge. They were on deep discount and I could actually afford it.  Then I hated the rest of the appliances with it. So, I sold and sold and sold and bought myself a new stove and microwave too.

 I've also been wanting a new vanity in this bathroom. I never liked the old one - it was a 'we need something in here to pass inspection, choose anything" purchase. I always thought I would find an old dresser to use, but it's so small in there nothing ever worked. On one of my appliance buying trips I saw this vanity and ticked all the boxes I needed for that space. So, I sold and sold and sold some more, and bought that too.

This week we finished a little upgrade to the basement playhouse space, which is now housing all the art supplies instead of a play kitchen.

Hopefully it won't be two months before I am back here!