Friday, July 24, 2020

Some days

 Some days are better than others. On those days I have hope that right after Xmas we will start lining up for vaccines and we can start thinking of returning to things. On other days the kids are fighting, the weeks are stretching on into infinity, I am desperate for normal, I am fully on board the struggle bus trying to make impossible decisions regarding the return to school, I AM SO FUCKING MAD WE ARE IN SUCH A HOT MESS, and I choke on my “whats the worst that could hAppen?” When trump was elected words.

Our schools Plan at the moment is this - either you go to school for five days or you learn at home. Nothing in the middle. It’s a non choice for the little kids - home. My rheumatology doctor advised against sending them, and on positive days I tell myself it will be all good. They will have the entire fall with more freedom and actually we can learn a lot more at our own pace. On bad days I tell myself the kids are struggling. Sam misses friends, Grant seems to be worrying a lot about getting Covid when around people, we watch too much tv and everything is shit.

Jack is a completely different story. Not all of his coursework will be available on line, no decision has been made how to handle that, and my not really able to deal with change child says he must attend school then.

It seems like madness as we have more cases every day than ever, we are now a hot spot and have been banned from visiting many states, our governor does nothing beyond say your kids will get it but it will be fine!

So, mostly we still just sit and wait.

 I have been trying to go to the thrift once a week in St. Louis county - where masks are actually mandatory. So, I’ve  bought a few things.
And I’ve been trying once a week to take the kids somewhere relatively quiet to get some nature. The boys are very resistant to this, Sam loves it. We are all missing our annual road trip for sure.

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