Wednesday, October 28, 2020


There is always a lot to come to here to say, and yet, nothing feels quite right. I never could have imagined that with November barreling down upon us we would still be sitting in the midst of an epic shit storm, but here we are. 

Everything feels uncertain, untethered, and yet, so many things just carry on. The leaves are going, the furnace is running, in a few days trick or treat will gd over again for another year (or whatever passes for trick or treat this year). 

We’ve done some Halloween things. 
Jack has acquired a license to drive. Tomorrow, after a year of me sitting in the passenger seat next to him, he drives off without me. It’s only to orchestra at school, bc we are still mightily distancing, but it will be a little odd. Driving is one of the things I was never sure jack would manage, and he’s done an amazing job. When you have an atypical kid you are never quite sure which benchmarks you will actually achieve until you arrive. I am so very proud.
The cats continue to grow.

The kids continue to grow. We have one more day to make a second semester decision about going to school or staying at home. I thought it would be easier this time. It’s not. It’s hard to justify the risk when America posts the highest rates yet every single day. The courthouse is closed again, some schools can’t run bus routes bc too many drivers on quarantine, some dmv offices are closed again, some restaurant capacities are back to 25%, Springfield says they are running out of hospital beds. It’s all still so much. 

(Sam wAs DYING to see this exhibit. As soon as it feels safe I will take her to botanical gardens to see the real deal.) 

And the ever looming election is nearly upon us. 

I find myself unable to tolerate social media, the tv, the radio. Where is the humanity right now? I literally cannot stomach using the name of Jesus to defend these politicians. I just unfriend like crazy right now - my kids aren’t even at school yet 45 claims to have ended the pandemic! I already know I
Am too scared to look at the results next weds. I just keep telling myself that no matter what, at least then it is finite - the end date will be known. 


Monday, October 19, 2020

Hapde burfday Jack

My dearest jack,

Somehow we have arrived at 16. 16! 

There have been easy years, killer years and everything in between.

I have to say the past year is probably my favorite. 

I love watching you become your more adult self. 

I’m acutely aware that we spent so many years just inching ever so slowly towards your launching and now we are taking giant leaps every week. It’s easy to start thinking well, how many more years of this do we have? Maybe two? 

Make no mistake though - it’s exciting! I was truly unsure what many of these milestones were going to look like for you for a long time.

You continue to amuse and amaze me every day, and I love you so much! 

I’m sorry there’s no big party this year, but hopefully for 17 we can party like it’s 2020. ;)