Friday, February 08, 2008

Take my word for it

When at some point on Thursday morning you notice the cat eating a piece of cellophane and you think to yourself, "Self, you should give that cat the hydrogen peroxide treatment so he will throw up that piece of cellophane," you really should do it.

When you go into the bathroom on Friday morning and notice a terrible odor that you know is not from yourself or your 3 year old, you should put on your apron before you start looking for the cat.

At the very least you should hang your apron where your 3 year old can reach it so that he can help you when you ask him to.
When you go to bed at night, do yourself a favor and do the dishes. You can not possibly move all the dirty dishes so you can access the sink while holding a screaming, scratching, covered in poop, 24 lb cat and give directions to your 3 year old at the same time. It simply cannot be done. You only have 2 hands.

When you give your 3 year old a direction like "Please get mommy the scissors that are in the bathroom by the hairbrushes," and you realize that he is throwing all the hairbrushes at you while you are holding a now soaking wet, covered in poop, 24 lb cat, because he is scared to go near said cat, be aware that he is going to throw the scissors at you next. Try to remember to teach him how to properly hand over scissors before the crap hits the fan again.

Please put some underwear where your 3 year old can reach them. He can halfway dress himself, but if he is running around naked while the cat is screaming and breaking everything in the kitchen you will not be able to get the underwear for him.
When the time comes to send your 3 year old to get towels to attempt to dry off the filthy cat, remember to reassure the kiddo that you are not going to use his beloved Dandy to wipe off the poopy cat. He was worried there for a minute.

Whatever you do, buy those pads for that swiffer thing before there is a poop emergency.

If you have not remembered to pay the trash man and your house is starting to look like Italy, at least put the trash in the garage. The smell of the cat plus the smell of the kitchen trash is wretched. Really.
When all is said and done, have a good laugh with your 3 year old, then pat yourselves on the back. You stayed calm, and he did an excellent of fetching the necessary tools and getting himself ready for school.

But please, keep the cat in the bathroom for a few hours. One poop emergency is quite enough, thank you.

(I hope you aren't offended by our poop-trasophe. It happens. LOL. Photos from top are: a recently thrifted pair of pottery cornucopia vases; a flowery tablecloth from the antique mall this morning, where I went to soothe my soul; an awesome thrifted tablecloth in linen with a Penn Dutch print; and another antique mall tablecloth, a minty green Wilendur. The tablecloths were actually cheaper at the antique mall than the thrift store, go figure. The photos are dark because it is so gray outside, my apologies.)

33 comments:

  1. well, at least it was over in a morning but holy cow! those are some things you hope never to experience again EVER! I think the tablecloth therapy is perectly justified and you got some beauts. Love the Pennsylvania Dutch one.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh my goodness! You are not lying about this poop-trastophe. I had a similar incident (not poop luckily)where I had a giant jumping spider land on my hand while doing dishes. The little guy I was nannying for was 3 or 4 at the time. So the spider lands on my hand (I normally could care less about spiders--but I am telling you this one would have left a welt if he bit) I scream and fling it. It is sitting there in the sink looking at me and I am thinking- I need to throw something not breakable at it-since he may jump again if I smush him with a napkin. So I was yelling for Randy to go get me the biggest book he can find, since I can't break eye contact with the spider, he may after all, jump away and that would have caused me to move out forever. Meanwhile I am sure Randy was climbing the book case precariously as I was in a staring war. I scramble and find some thesarus or something and huck it at the beast. And alas, the little bugger died, the little boy tried his best to help me admist my screaming, and I laughed like the fool I was.

    ReplyDelete
  3. OH. MY!!! At least you can laugh about it now. Apparently you have a cat like mine who eats all things cellophaney/ribbony. Bad combo for us crafters LOL. Glad everything came out ok (heh!) Love the new finds -- bonus points for rewarding yourself!!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm glad it all worked out in the end. I had a good giggle or two!

    Retail therapy is the best kind!

    Cheers! LA

    PS Do you need Bon Jovi tix?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Sorry but that was hilarious - I'm sure it wasn't so funny at the time. Well handled just like any other mum.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm sorry, but I laughed until I cried at this one. Well done for remaining calm!

    ReplyDelete
  7. oh my goodness! Big, big, *hugs!*

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oh bless your heart. I couldn't help laughing at the images in my head while reading this one. Glad you could find something to soothe yourself after this awakening.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Oh Sarah. What a cat-astrophe!!!
    Not funny at the time I am sure but funny now!
    Alison

    ReplyDelete
  10. You deserved some quiet time at the antique mall after that cat-astrophe! :) You find the greatest stuff.

    I hope your weekend is less eventful than the end of your week.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I should have read the other comments before posting. I'm not the only one who thought of that fun little pun!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Gorgeous tablecloths.

    what a funny story!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Oh my, you poor thing!! If being sick isn't bad enough, you had to deal with all that. And holy cow! a 24lb cat, she weighs more than either of my dogs!!!

    I hope the medicine kicks in soon for you.

    (((hugs)))
    Tiff

    ReplyDelete
  14. Wow- I'm sorry, that sounds awful. I am impressed that you kept your cool through it all, I'm not sure I could have managed! Hope you and Jack and the cat are all feeling better soon!

    ReplyDelete
  15. I am laughing SO hard right now! Thanks for the hilarious advise!!! Sorry it happened to you, but glad it wasn't me.
    We have plenty of poop stories in this home and we don't even have any pets!
    xo-
    Missy

    ReplyDelete
  16. your cat is huge!
    poop-tastrophes are never fun. hope the weekend treats you better.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Oh my goodness. What a Thursday! I hope that both Jack and your kitty haven't been scarred for life :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. Gosh...Hope your weekend is a bit better!

    ReplyDelete
  19. When a day starts like that it really only can get better, right??? I'm so sorry that happened-I've never heard of the peroxide treatment-but love your sense of humor! Those tablecloths are amazing, by the way! xo-Mel

    ReplyDelete
  20. Oh my gosh....you poor thing!!! I can't help myself I'm dying of laughter reading this, while at the same time feeling incredile sorry for you ...and the cat... I hope you and the cat is feeling better by now ! Take care! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  21. That's hilarious! But I'm sure it wasn't hilarious when you were going through it. Hope the kitty is feeling better!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Oh my gosh Sarah this is not your week not our month. Hang in there. Clarice

    ReplyDelete
  23. Wow - this is one for the record books! Great job at keeping your cool.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Oh wow! What a morning! Good thing for tablecloth therapy. :) Love that bottom one.

    ReplyDelete
  25. I tagged you, if you've recovered from your little catastrophe! ;) See my blog for directions.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Oh my! What morning! Would have loved to be Jacks Preschool teacher. I am sure his retelling was priceless!

    ReplyDelete
  27. I,too, would love to hear the three year old telling the story.
    Can't blame the kid, I'm not entirely sure I wouldn't have thrown the scissors at you.
    Shopping for tablecloths is the only sensible thing to do after a morning like that.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Is it wrong that I thought your story was funny? I've had days like that. Except now during the day all I have is two dogs, and neither one will raise a paw to help the other, or me.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Oh my, I was laughing so hard when I read this post, life with kids and pets can be so crazy at times:) I love the pottery you found, it is lovely, the table cloths as FAB too!

    ReplyDelete
  30. LOL Love it! That'll be a story you'll tell Jack for years so he'll always remember it.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Oh Sarah, I'm sorry, but you made me laugh out loud. Poor Sarah, poor cat. I'm sure it was just all a new adventure for Jack though. LOL I am thinking I am in some need of thrift store shopping therapy too. Great idea!

    ReplyDelete
  32. I've had enough "human" poop emergencies to last me a lifetime. I don't need to have animals for that reason.

    I'm sorry, but I had to laugh. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  33. oh my! that sounds like quite the morning...
    i hope your cat is okay...

    ReplyDelete

Hi there. What say you?